Stories X - Lecture

suggestive pick up lines. Hope ya like.

Do you live on a chicken

farm? 'Cause you sure

know how to raise a

cock.

Are you a drill

sergeant? Because you

have my privates

standing at attention.

You're just like my little

toe, because I'm going

to bang you on every

piece of furniture in my

home.

Do you mix concrete

for a living? Because

you're making me hard.

If you're feeling down,

I can feel you up.

My dick just died. Would

you mind if I buried it in

your ass?

Are your legs made of

Nutella? Because I'd

love to spread them!

There will only be 7

planets left after I

destroy Uranus.

I'm no weather man,

but you can expect

more than a few

inches tonight.

Do you work at

Subway? Because you

just gave me a

footlong.

I may not go down in

history, but I'll go down

on you.

That shirt's very

becoming on you. If I

were on you, I'd be

coming too.

Do you work for UPS? I

could have sworn I

saw you checking out

my package.

I hope you like dragons,

because I'll be dragon

my balls across your

face tonight.

I think it's time I tell

you what people are

saying behind your

back... "Nice ass!"

I may not be a

windshield repairman,

but I can still fill your

crack in.

Do you know the

difference between my

dick and a chicken

wing? No? Well, let's go

on a picnic and find out!

Forget that! Playing

doctor is for kids! Let's

play gynecologist.

Are you a termite?

Cause you're about to

have a mouth full of

wood.

Your face reminds me

of a wrench, every

time I think of it my

nuts tighten up.

Excuse me, but would

you like an orally

stimulated orgasm?

Do you run track?

Cause I heard you Relay

want this dick.

Are you from the

ghetto? Cause I'm

about to ghetto hold of

dat ass.

You know what I like in

a girl? My dick.

Are you a doctor?

cause you just cured

my erectile

dysfunction.

Your legs are like an

Oreo Cookie - I wanna

split them and eat all

the good stuff in the

middle.

Have you ever kissed a

rabbit between the

ears? [Pull your pockets

inside out] Would you

like to?

I lost my virginity. Can I

have yours?

Hey babe, how about a

pizza and a f**k? [No]

What's wrong, don't

you like pizza?

Hey, you wanna do a

68? You go down on

me, and I'll owe you

one.

Someone vacuum my

lap, I think this girl

needs a clean place to

sit.

If I could rearrange the

alphabet, I'd put 'U'

between 'F' and 'CK'

F**k me if I'm wrong,

but isn't your name

Laura?

Hey Baby! I'd like to use

your thighs as

earmuffs.

You might not be the

best looking girl here,

but beauty is only a

light switch away.

Are you from Iraq?

'Cause I like the way

you Baghdad ass up.

Your breasts remind

me of Mount Rushmore

- my face should be

among them.

Hey baby, I think you

just made my two by

four into a four by

eight.

Is that a keg in your

pants? Because I'd love

to tap that ass.

Hey cutie, wanna go

halves on a baby?

You can call me cake,

cause I'll go straight to

your ass.

Are you hungry? Cause

omelette you suck this

dick.

Do you like pudding?

Cause I'll be pudding

this dick in your ass.

Can I read your t-shirt

in braille?

Do you know your

ABC's? Cause I wanna

give you the 4th letter

of the alphabet.

I'll give you a nickel if

you tickle my pickle.

You are so selfish!

You're going to have

that body the rest of

your life and I just

want it for one night.

Just remember: To

you, I am a virgin.

What's the speed limit

of sex? [what?] 68.

Because at 69 YOU

have to turn around!

I'm an astronaut and

my next mission is to

explore Uranus.

I'm like a Rubik's Cube,

the more you play with

me the harder I get!

What's the difference

between a Ferrari and

an erection? I don't

have a Ferrari.

Hi, do you want to

have my children? [No]

OK, can we just

practice then?



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